How can we help our students win the purity battle?  One skirmish at a time.  Often I lose the war in an area of my life because I try to take back what was lost in just one battle.  We regain the ground  the same way we gave it up.  One step at a time.   I can't get to a place tomorrow if I don't know where I am today.  What areas have I given up in the area of purity?  Often I can't begin to name all the places I left my character.  A little here and a little there.  This endeavor, that hobby, over there.  Only God knows  and so I begin by asking Him to find all the pieces to purity in the life of my student.  (Good practice for this is asking God to re-unite all the pieces of my heart in the area of purity.  He'll do it.)

Friends.  What friendships do I need to encourage in the life of my student?  Remember, our goal is purity. If our student doesn't have any good friends, that's where I start.  Be creative in the way you inquire about friends. Get involved at whatever level you are allowed and work from there.  If you vote your stock too soon by saying "because I'm your father", we'll suffer a set back.  Ask questions.  Don't preach sermons.

Dating and courtship. One comment:  Treat your spouse in a way your student will want to treat their opposite sex friends.  For the student, purity is modeled in the life of the parent.

Boundaries. Yes.  And lots of them.  Let students watch you build the fences.  Talk to them so they know why we observe limitations.  Many of our boundaries deal with issue of time.  "When can I...?"  Even as students grow up, talk about how important right timing is in every process of life 

Celebrate  Find one thing to remind students about purity.  Every time they see that special object, hear a certain code word, or recall a person, they associate this image with a vow to purity.  For some, it may be a ring or an annual event or a personal gift.  I'll never forget a conversation with my father in the area of purity and faithfulness.  When I wondered one time how he was able to remain faithful to my Mom. he responded, "Wasn't that what I was supposed to do?"  Someone modeled purity for him and so I was able to model purity for my sons.  Can it be this simple?  Yes!  Note: I didn't say is was easy.

Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.

This is a tough one. Not because we can't experience purity in our life, but because the odds are against us. Barna & Gallup polls reveal that 9 out of 10 Christians do not live the Christ life they confess. That is pressure we don't need. The world values alone are hard combatants, but "we are our own worst enemy" when it comes to purity. Usually we associate purity with "things we do" but the headwaters of purity lie in the "things we are."

Students are looking in a lot of places for their identity and values. Often they leave home with one set of values (Dan & Mom's), usually good ones, only to jettison them along the way as they develop their own "new" set of values. Every day our students wrestle with surroundings of inferiority, conformity, independence and for sure, questions about love. How can we be pure in a impure world?

One word: FRIENDS! Andy Stanley said, "Show me your friends and I will tell you your future." What kind of friends do my son or daughter have? Do they support the pure values of God's Word? This not only refers to real friends, but made up friends also. TV, video and movie friends. Do you find it alarming that we will invite some people into our living rooms through a TV program that we would never allow through our front door? What kind of friends have I exposed my self and my family to?

Now that the TV is off, how can I help my student develop healthy friendships? Or, how can I help my child loosen the grip of wrong friends?

 More in part 2.

    Ridgeway, Colorado